Finding Center in Cambodia

After leaving Burma, I was feeling a bit lost on my journey. I was tired of traveling and missed the comforts of home. To be honest, I was ready to throw in the towel and buy a one way back to Boston. But I knew that as much as I missed home, my time out here was not over yet. I returned to Bangkok for a week of relaxing before deciding where I would go next. I got a one week pass to a nice gym, worked out and did yoga everyday, had 6 thai massages, and of course did some more shopping. I finally felt more myself and was excited to continue my travels. I had been wanting to do a yoga retreat for awhile so when I received an email that there was one spot left for a 5 day retreat in Cambodia I took that as a nudge from the universe. Cambodia was one of the countries that didn't really call to me as a place I cared to visit and for that reason I knew I would probably end up loving it. Right I was!

The yoga retreat was a nice continuation of the healthy lifestyle I had tried to re-obtain in Bangkok and a great way to meet some like minded travelers on similar journeys. Daily asana and meditation practice plus 3 vegan meals a day and sleeping in an open air bamboo hut was the perfect way to kick off my time in Cambodia. I left the retreat feeling similar to when I left Bali, centered and grounded and ready for the next adventure.

Back in the dusty city of Siem Reap, I made my way to the Temples of Angkor. World renowned, breath taking architecture paired with rich history made for a memorable experience. I watched the sunrise over Angkor Wat, the world's largest religious building and was awe struck by the collision of nature and architecture. The temples are so old that enormous trees have grown in the ruins, intertwining Mother Nature with one of man's most impressive creations. 

I wasn't planning to spend much more time in the country but when numerous people started telling me about the island of Koh Rong I thought I might as well check it out. 15 hours of bus travel later and I was sitting on the speed ferry headed for the island in the Gulf of Thailand. Koh Rong is a mixture of laid back beach atmosphere and a hard core party scene. Upon first stepping off the ferry I can't say that I was extremely impressed. The beach was loaded with bars and backpackers and felt too crowded for my liking. However a few minutes down the beach and I found some peace and quiet. A treacherous 45 minute hike through the jungle brings you to one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen. Rightfully named Long Beach, as all of my favorite beaches seem to be, the sand is so white and pure that it squeaks under your feet as you walk. The water is crystal blue and even swimming over my head I was able to see the ocean floor. 

By far the best experience I had on Koh Rong was on my second to last night. I went out with some friends from the yoga retreat for a delicious pizza and wine dinner followed by a dance party on the beach. Dancing in the sand under the moonlight in front of the DJ booth, we all decided to sneak off and go skinny dipping in the ocean. The water was as warm as a bathtub and once we started splashing about we realized dozens and dozens of glowing dots all around us. Almost like an ocean filled with glitter, we were surrounded by phosphorescent plankton! It was one of the coolest experiences of my life.

After 5 nights on Koh Rong, I had enough of the island and made my way to the capital city of Phnom Penh. It is here that the gruesome S-21 prison and killing fields are located. It is amazing to learn about the genocide that this country went through less than 40 years ago. In school we are taught about the world wars and the holocaust and yet the mass detainment and killing that occurred during the Khmer Regime in Cambodia are not mentioned once. Visiting the museum and the killing fields is a heart breaking experience. The traumas that were endured are unthinkable and what is even worse is that it was Cambodians killing other Cambodians. You go on the tour and you sort of float through, listening to the horror stories but not really comprehending them. And then there is a moment where one detail rocks you to the core and suddenly you feel sick that such an event could ever take place. For me that moment was during the tour of the killing fields when we came to "the killing tree" located next to a mass grave. At this tree, babies were held upside down by their feet as their heads were bashed against the tree, bludgeoning their skulls before they were tossed into the pit to the right. This was done in front of their mothers, who stood helpless, naked from the rape they had just endured, watching the final torture before they themselves were mercilessly killed and tossed into the pit along with their children. My entire body had chills when I heard about this. It is sickening and heart wrenching. These are the stories that make you grateful for the life you have been granted. I try to remember these stories when I am having a particularly rough day as it puts things into perspective pretty quickly.

The rest of my days in Phnom Penh I have spent running along the river, taking yoga workshops, getting massages, and dining with new friends. I am enjoying the calm and centered feeling that I so often take for granted at home. Traveling does not allow you to have a routine, it forces you out of your comfort zone and it can sometimes feel like life is a big whirlwind and you're trying to hold on. My time in Cambodia has been much needed and I've realized that there are certain things I must do in order to maintain my balance during a time in my life where there is no structure and spontaneity rules all. It's amazing how much better I feel after a quick run, a yoga class, or some meditation on the beach. It is so important that I remember that this journey is all about me. Taking the time to do things that center me, make me feel happy, and nourish my mind and body is a major priority. 

I have loved my time in Cambodia, a beautiful country with even more beautiful people, and I am sad to leave but I must continue forward. Tomorrow I will take a 2 day boat journey down the Mekong River and into Vietnam. I will arrive in Saigon just in time for the New Year celebrations! Looking forward to good food, rich culture, more beaches, and custom made clothing! Cheers to another country down and another one to look forward to!

The children in Cambodia are the sweetest!

Had a massage and was wondering why the man was running his fingers through my hair afterwards- you can't see the mini braids but I walked out with a full up-do!

Hello 2015!

I spent the last day of 2014 laying on the beach and rang in 2015 watching the fireworks and partying on the beach. It's hard to believe the year is over. 2014 brought some major life changes for me. I quit my job and moved out of the apartment in Boston where I lived for 3 years, broke up with my best friend who I dated for 5 years, and I bought a one way ticket to Southeast Asia. I moved home to the Cape and waitressed to fund my dreams of traveling the world. In the meantime I strengthened old friendships and created new ones. I fell in love with my home all over again and learned to appreciate the beauty that constantly surrounds me. I became a certified yoga instructor, I swam with sea turtles, I got scuba certified, I bathed in waterfalls, and I danced for hours on the beach under a canopy of stars. I lost friends and I made friends. There were highs and lows, as is usual, but one thing is for sure it was a year of transformation for me and I don't think 2015 will be any different. I'm not dwelling on the past nor am I anticipating the future. Instead, I am focusing on the present and living in the moment.

After treating ourselves to a bottle of wine and a fancy dinner for Christmas Eve on Koh Tao, Laura and I took off for Koh Phangan. Known for the famous Full Moon Party, the island is filled with 20-somethings in neon shirts and body paint, ready to rage at any hour of the day. We went to the full moon party on Christmas and had an absolute blast. Thailand being such a popular destination for Europeans, I found myself speaking Italian, Spanish, and a mix of other languages all night. I was fascinated by the fire shows, with young Thai boys tossing flame colored ropes into the sky, twirling them around and managing to not get burned. Then there were the fire jump ropes which are exactly what they sound like. A massive jump rope engulfed in flames and the brave souls who risk a 3rd degree burn to get a good picture.

Koh Phangan was fun and there is a lot more to do than party. The farther north you go on the island, the prettier the beaches get and the more yoga and health centric spots start popping up. We stayed on the island for a few days, zipping up and down the coast on our motor bike, before deciding we wanted to explore the Indian Ocean side of Thailand. So now we are on Koh Phi Phi (pronounced Pee Pee) and have been doing little more than sunbathing everyday. This island is stunning and the weather has been perfect so we are taking full advantage and getting our tanning time in. Made famous by the Leo Dicaprio movie, The Beach, Phi Phi is a tiny island with no cars and a mixture of backpackers and vacationers. 

I am so sad that our Thailand adventure is quickly coming to an end and Laura is leaving me in a week. She has been the perfect travel companion, always on the same page as me, and I'm going to miss her so much when she goes! As for me, I have 8 days before they can legally kick me out of the country and I don't quite know where I'm going yet. If the Myanmar website would work and I could secure my eVisa then I would say I'm going to Burma but so far I've had no luck. As always, I have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to and the universe will nudge me in the right direction. :)

Heaven on Earth

November 22:

I found heaven today. I'm still in awe of the beauty here and sometimes I have a hard time believing it's real. We chartered a boat for another day of island hopping and it was complete magic. Upon pulling up to the entrance of Barracudda Lake it looks similar to most other islands we've been to; giant rock formations and crystal clear ocean. This time we stepped off the boat onto some wooden stairs that appeared to cut right in between two of the rocks. Walk up about 10 steps, turn a corner, and the most breathtaking view comes in to sight. It's a cerulean blue fresh water lake enclosed in rock in the middle of the ocean. What's better is that it's completely empty. Our own private oasis. None of us could believe our eyes and the 100-watt smiles permanently stained our faces. Having spent so many days swimming in the overly salty water, the fresh water of the lake was so crisp and refreshing. I remember floating on my back in the middle of the lake and actually having the thought that I could die right then and there and be perfectly happy. It was that amazing. We climbed up jagged rocks and took turns cannon balling into the water. All of us giddy with amazement. I really never wanted to leave.

But alas, we had 4 more stops so I had to kiss Barracudda Lake goodbye and hop back on the water chariot and onto the next one. Kayungan Lake was very similar to Barracudda but is more well known so it was crowded with tourists in bright orange life vests and not quite as enjoyable (although still incredible). Plus there were no cool rocks to dive off. Next was Twin !agoon, a salt water lagoon accessed by swimming through an opening under the rocks during low tide. The water temperature changes from warm to cold every couple of feet and little black fish swim up and nibble at your toes. After the lagoon we went to Skeleton Wreck, a small shipwreck close to shore. I was completely uninterested in the wreck, I was far too fascinated by the swarms of striped fish swimming in a cloud around me. It was surreal being suspended in the water with hundreds of little fish swimming all around me, and the craziest part is that not one of them ever touched me. 

We finished the day with an hour laying on the beach and watched the sunset from the boat as we approached the shore. Today was absolutely magical and I'm going to sleep a very happy and grateful girl.