Finding Center in Cambodia

After leaving Burma, I was feeling a bit lost on my journey. I was tired of traveling and missed the comforts of home. To be honest, I was ready to throw in the towel and buy a one way back to Boston. But I knew that as much as I missed home, my time out here was not over yet. I returned to Bangkok for a week of relaxing before deciding where I would go next. I got a one week pass to a nice gym, worked out and did yoga everyday, had 6 thai massages, and of course did some more shopping. I finally felt more myself and was excited to continue my travels. I had been wanting to do a yoga retreat for awhile so when I received an email that there was one spot left for a 5 day retreat in Cambodia I took that as a nudge from the universe. Cambodia was one of the countries that didn't really call to me as a place I cared to visit and for that reason I knew I would probably end up loving it. Right I was!

The yoga retreat was a nice continuation of the healthy lifestyle I had tried to re-obtain in Bangkok and a great way to meet some like minded travelers on similar journeys. Daily asana and meditation practice plus 3 vegan meals a day and sleeping in an open air bamboo hut was the perfect way to kick off my time in Cambodia. I left the retreat feeling similar to when I left Bali, centered and grounded and ready for the next adventure.

Back in the dusty city of Siem Reap, I made my way to the Temples of Angkor. World renowned, breath taking architecture paired with rich history made for a memorable experience. I watched the sunrise over Angkor Wat, the world's largest religious building and was awe struck by the collision of nature and architecture. The temples are so old that enormous trees have grown in the ruins, intertwining Mother Nature with one of man's most impressive creations. 

I wasn't planning to spend much more time in the country but when numerous people started telling me about the island of Koh Rong I thought I might as well check it out. 15 hours of bus travel later and I was sitting on the speed ferry headed for the island in the Gulf of Thailand. Koh Rong is a mixture of laid back beach atmosphere and a hard core party scene. Upon first stepping off the ferry I can't say that I was extremely impressed. The beach was loaded with bars and backpackers and felt too crowded for my liking. However a few minutes down the beach and I found some peace and quiet. A treacherous 45 minute hike through the jungle brings you to one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen. Rightfully named Long Beach, as all of my favorite beaches seem to be, the sand is so white and pure that it squeaks under your feet as you walk. The water is crystal blue and even swimming over my head I was able to see the ocean floor. 

By far the best experience I had on Koh Rong was on my second to last night. I went out with some friends from the yoga retreat for a delicious pizza and wine dinner followed by a dance party on the beach. Dancing in the sand under the moonlight in front of the DJ booth, we all decided to sneak off and go skinny dipping in the ocean. The water was as warm as a bathtub and once we started splashing about we realized dozens and dozens of glowing dots all around us. Almost like an ocean filled with glitter, we were surrounded by phosphorescent plankton! It was one of the coolest experiences of my life.

After 5 nights on Koh Rong, I had enough of the island and made my way to the capital city of Phnom Penh. It is here that the gruesome S-21 prison and killing fields are located. It is amazing to learn about the genocide that this country went through less than 40 years ago. In school we are taught about the world wars and the holocaust and yet the mass detainment and killing that occurred during the Khmer Regime in Cambodia are not mentioned once. Visiting the museum and the killing fields is a heart breaking experience. The traumas that were endured are unthinkable and what is even worse is that it was Cambodians killing other Cambodians. You go on the tour and you sort of float through, listening to the horror stories but not really comprehending them. And then there is a moment where one detail rocks you to the core and suddenly you feel sick that such an event could ever take place. For me that moment was during the tour of the killing fields when we came to "the killing tree" located next to a mass grave. At this tree, babies were held upside down by their feet as their heads were bashed against the tree, bludgeoning their skulls before they were tossed into the pit to the right. This was done in front of their mothers, who stood helpless, naked from the rape they had just endured, watching the final torture before they themselves were mercilessly killed and tossed into the pit along with their children. My entire body had chills when I heard about this. It is sickening and heart wrenching. These are the stories that make you grateful for the life you have been granted. I try to remember these stories when I am having a particularly rough day as it puts things into perspective pretty quickly.

The rest of my days in Phnom Penh I have spent running along the river, taking yoga workshops, getting massages, and dining with new friends. I am enjoying the calm and centered feeling that I so often take for granted at home. Traveling does not allow you to have a routine, it forces you out of your comfort zone and it can sometimes feel like life is a big whirlwind and you're trying to hold on. My time in Cambodia has been much needed and I've realized that there are certain things I must do in order to maintain my balance during a time in my life where there is no structure and spontaneity rules all. It's amazing how much better I feel after a quick run, a yoga class, or some meditation on the beach. It is so important that I remember that this journey is all about me. Taking the time to do things that center me, make me feel happy, and nourish my mind and body is a major priority. 

I have loved my time in Cambodia, a beautiful country with even more beautiful people, and I am sad to leave but I must continue forward. Tomorrow I will take a 2 day boat journey down the Mekong River and into Vietnam. I will arrive in Saigon just in time for the New Year celebrations! Looking forward to good food, rich culture, more beaches, and custom made clothing! Cheers to another country down and another one to look forward to!

The children in Cambodia are the sweetest!

Had a massage and was wondering why the man was running his fingers through my hair afterwards- you can't see the mini braids but I walked out with a full up-do!

Minding myself in Myanmar

My experience in Myanmar has been vastly different than the other countries I've visited. To be honest, I don't really like it that much. I've had a hard time admitting it because I feel for some reason that I must love every place I go and talk excitedly with other travelers about how marvelous it is. But I just don't love it here. It is an extremely corrupt and impoverished country and I've felt very outside of my comfort zone. I am grateful to experience it, to understand how much of the world lives, and I am beyond grateful for all of the blessings in my life that these people could not even dream of. 

It hasn't all been unpleasant. The street food in Yangon was delicious. Sharing a border with India means there is a lot of Indian influence on the cuisine and it is a vegetarian paradise. At the same time there are parts of this country, Bago in particular, that actually feel like you are in India. Complete sensory overload; cars, trucks, busses, motorbikes, cows, and bicycles all crowd the streets honking and yelling and blowing black fumes into the air. It's hard to believe I ever had any reservations about riding a bike on the streets of Boston! After peddling along that crowded highway I think I could handle biking in any major US city. I felt so dirty in the 2 days that we were in Bago. I refused to eat at any of the restaurants and survived instead on bananas and avocados, the only foods I could find with skin and therefore felt safe to eat. 

Arriving in Bagan in the middle of the night with no place to sleep, I had resolved to change my flight to an earlier date. I had all but reached my breaking point when we found a comfortable guest house that opened its doors and let us stay the night free of charge. The next day we walked through the market and had a real meal at a nice (and clean) restaurant. Bagan is much quieter and cleaner than Bago and I felt my trip turning around. We climbed to the top of the highest temple at 5:30am to watch the sunrise over the city, saw hot air balloons floating through the sky, and we watched the sunset from the top of a pagoda while chit chatting with some friendly locals. If the rest of the country is anything like Bagan, I thought, I'll actually really like it here.

A 7 hour bus ride brought us from Bagan to Kalaw, the starting point for the 3 day trek to Inle Lake. There really is nothing in Kalaw and the only reason for going is to trek. We ran into a lot of rain the next day and had to postpone our trek. Although the day was extremely boring, I welcomed it because it wasted a day of our trip. It's awful but everyday I wake up and think about how many days we have left to endure. I have a countdown in my head of when these 3 long weeks will be over. Even though I have been enjoying some of them, for the most part I can't wait to leave. Part of me wishes that I saved this country for last because being here has made me want nothing else but to go home. I want to feel clean again, I want to sleep in a comfortable bed, I want to use a toilet that I can actually sit on and not a hole in the ground. I want to make my own food, take a proper shower, and see all of my friends. I want all of the comforts of America and none of the people who constantly insult where I come from. 

But. I just can't go home yet. I still have too much to see here and although I have my moments, as every backpacker does, I truly do love traveling. Plus it's cold at home and I want no part of that. 

There are 11 days left on the countdown. We are finished with day 1 of the trek, 15km down and another 38 to go. Sleeping on the floor of a local villager's hut with no electricity and no running water. I think to myself, I am so lucky to have been born where I was born. I can't wait to get to Inle Lake, it is supposed to be breathtaking and despite my overall lack of enthusiasm for this country, I am actually really looking forward to it.

Update: We finished the trek today. My toes are covered in painful blisters and I think it will take a few more showers until I actually feel clean again. The boat ride across the lake to the main village was beautiful- a placid lake surrounded by mountains. I've been here for less than 2 hours though and I am already bored. 9 days left, there is no way I can make it. I am putting my stubbornness aside, throwing in the towel and booking a flight back to Bangkok for tomorrow morning. Afterall if I'm not enjoying myself then what am I doing here? 

Hello 2015!

I spent the last day of 2014 laying on the beach and rang in 2015 watching the fireworks and partying on the beach. It's hard to believe the year is over. 2014 brought some major life changes for me. I quit my job and moved out of the apartment in Boston where I lived for 3 years, broke up with my best friend who I dated for 5 years, and I bought a one way ticket to Southeast Asia. I moved home to the Cape and waitressed to fund my dreams of traveling the world. In the meantime I strengthened old friendships and created new ones. I fell in love with my home all over again and learned to appreciate the beauty that constantly surrounds me. I became a certified yoga instructor, I swam with sea turtles, I got scuba certified, I bathed in waterfalls, and I danced for hours on the beach under a canopy of stars. I lost friends and I made friends. There were highs and lows, as is usual, but one thing is for sure it was a year of transformation for me and I don't think 2015 will be any different. I'm not dwelling on the past nor am I anticipating the future. Instead, I am focusing on the present and living in the moment.

After treating ourselves to a bottle of wine and a fancy dinner for Christmas Eve on Koh Tao, Laura and I took off for Koh Phangan. Known for the famous Full Moon Party, the island is filled with 20-somethings in neon shirts and body paint, ready to rage at any hour of the day. We went to the full moon party on Christmas and had an absolute blast. Thailand being such a popular destination for Europeans, I found myself speaking Italian, Spanish, and a mix of other languages all night. I was fascinated by the fire shows, with young Thai boys tossing flame colored ropes into the sky, twirling them around and managing to not get burned. Then there were the fire jump ropes which are exactly what they sound like. A massive jump rope engulfed in flames and the brave souls who risk a 3rd degree burn to get a good picture.

Koh Phangan was fun and there is a lot more to do than party. The farther north you go on the island, the prettier the beaches get and the more yoga and health centric spots start popping up. We stayed on the island for a few days, zipping up and down the coast on our motor bike, before deciding we wanted to explore the Indian Ocean side of Thailand. So now we are on Koh Phi Phi (pronounced Pee Pee) and have been doing little more than sunbathing everyday. This island is stunning and the weather has been perfect so we are taking full advantage and getting our tanning time in. Made famous by the Leo Dicaprio movie, The Beach, Phi Phi is a tiny island with no cars and a mixture of backpackers and vacationers. 

I am so sad that our Thailand adventure is quickly coming to an end and Laura is leaving me in a week. She has been the perfect travel companion, always on the same page as me, and I'm going to miss her so much when she goes! As for me, I have 8 days before they can legally kick me out of the country and I don't quite know where I'm going yet. If the Myanmar website would work and I could secure my eVisa then I would say I'm going to Burma but so far I've had no luck. As always, I have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to and the universe will nudge me in the right direction. :)

Bangkok, Boats, and Buddhas

I've been having far too much fun in Thailand and its been awhile since I've had a chance to write anything. Laura and I fell in love with Bangkok, such a cool city. There are sky high shopping malls mixed in with temples and giant buddhas, and delicious food stands on every corner. Its quickly become my home away from home as its the perfect travel hub for all of SEA. We spent way too much money, ate way too much pad thai, and maybe drank a little too much but we had a damn good time doing it.

Oh Bangkok, where to begin? The food. The food! What an improvement from the Philippines, the food in Thailand is unreal. Everything is delicious, there are tons of vegetarian options, and you can easily get an entire meal for $1. The shopping is unavoidable. Clothing, jewlery, home decor, electronics, beauty treatments, you name it, we bought it. You can literally buy anything in Thailand. I had to leave an entire backpack behind while we travel the islands and I plan to stuff it full before I mail it home next month. Laura and I both agreed we could have spent the entire month in Bangkok but our bank accounts would have dwindled quickly. 

We booked tickets on an overnight sleeper train headed south where we would hop on a bus and then a ferry to get to our first tropical destination: Koh Tao. Again, my naivety has me thinking that this overnight train is going to be like the Hogwarts Express with our own private room, beds, and food carts periodically going through the aisles. Laura is excitedly telling me that she LOVES traveling by train. Me too! I took the Eurorail all over Italy and it was wonderful. Let me tell you that it was NOT like anything we were expecting. When we first got on the train we exchanged confused glances and proceeded to ask every worker we saw if we were on the correct train. Excuse me sir, there must be some confusion, we purchased tickets for the sleeper car? After being assured many times we finally accepted that we were on the right train and took our seats on the urine scented car. It turns out the two leather seats we were in slid together to make one bed and the metal cage above us folded down into a top bunk. We decided to sleep together on the bottom "bed" and used the top one to store our luggage. I refused to drink anything because there wasn't a chance I was going to use that bathroom again and by the time we reached our destination 10 hours later my mouth was so dry I could barely talk. I wish I could say that chapter ends with us getting off the train but it has only begun. We got to the deserted train station at 3am and waited until 6 for our bus. The bus was a quick 30 minutes to the pier and I slept the whole time. And then was what I can confidently say was one of the worst experiences of my life- the ferry ride. Its high season in Thailand right now and everyone is spending the holidays on the islands so the ferries are at full capacity. The weather last week wasn't ideal and made for some choppy seas in the gulf. Why they didn't warn us or cancel the ride all together is beyond me. Two hours on a catamaran rocking so violently side to side that the only thing you could see out the windows was the wave washing over it. Women shrieking as if they are on a roller coaster. Nauseous passengers vomiting into plastic bags every couple of feet. And me with my eyes closed tightly, hands gripping the seat in front of me, breathing deeply and picturing myself meditating on a calm beach with the horizon in front of me. It was horrific. How I managed to hold it together and not puke is a miracle. There were moments when I was questioning whether or not we would even make it to the island. I think I almost cried when the boat finally pulled into a harbor and the announcer said the name of a different island. I thought we were the first stop!! How long to Koh Tao?!?! Thankfully only 5 minutes away or I would have found myself vacationing on this other island I'd never heard of.

Aside from the terrible transportation experience, life in Thailand has been great. We've been on Koh Tao for 4 days now and just completed our Open Water scuba diving certification! The weather is beautiful and we plan to spend the next few days relaxing on the beach, hiking, doing yoga, and exploring the island. Time to lay low and enjoy the holidays :)

Thank You, You're Beautiful

30 days in the Philippines has come and gone. It's been a great month filled with endless white sand beaches, waterfalls, motorbike rides, and underwater adventures. However it only takes a couple of hours in Manila and I'm ready to get out of here. I can spend weeks on the beach but the hectic city is not for me. I'm not sure if it's the swarms of people, the foul smells, or the thick dirt filled air but I know once I arrive in the city I'm counting the hours until I leave. I'm sure there are some beautiful parts of the city so I don't want to hate on it too much as I haven't spent enough time here to judge but I will choose the islands over the city any day. And aside from Manila, I will miss the Philippines. Minus the food, which has been pretty disappointing. I've had a great month and I've learned some valuable life lessons.

The trip has been eye opening and has reminded me how blessed I am to live the life that I do, filled with endless possibilities and opportunities. There are people in this country with next to nothing and yet they still go out of their way to help a lost foreigner, to feed a stranger, to get to know someone who they will never see again. The kindness and hospitality that I have experienced this past month has humbled and inspired me. I am constantly in awe of the generosity and warm smiles extended my way. It's sad that it isn't the norm in America but I hope that can change. After an entire month in the country I have only learned 2 words of the language. They are all the only 2 I've needed and I won't soon forget them. Salamat and maganda ka, thank you and you're beautiful.

Thank you for an exhilarating and enlightening month Pilipinas, you're beautiful!

Laura and I had a great week on Bohol. One of the days we rented a motor bike and went to a completely deserted waterfall where we swam for an hour waiting for the crowds to show up but they never did. Then we went to the Bohol Bee Farm for lunch. The Buzzz was our favorite restaurant on Alona beach, we ate atleast one meal a day there, despite the prices being high- I was too excited for healthy food that I didn't care about my budget. We laid on the famous white sand beaches, got massages, face scrubs, and foot scrubs, ate ice cream every day, and even maintained a morning workout routine on the beach. It was the perfect start to our travels together and we're both dying to get to Thailand. Number one on both of our agendas? Pad Thai of course!

A Blissful Moment

This past week has been a bit of a disaster. We left Coron on Monday and flew to Cebu with high hopes of famous waterfalls and marine adventures but Mother Nature had a different plan. A typhoon rolled through on Tuesday and lasted the better part of the week, putting a big damper on our plans. I basically spent 6 days taking busses to different hostels in different towns and finally ended up in Cebu City where we could atleast walk around inside of a mall and go to the movies. I tried my best to remain positive despite wanting to rip my hair out and for the most part I succeeded. It was a minor set back but thankfully I still have a little over a week left to visit everywhere I've wanted to go. Seeing bridges, roads, and homes destroyed made me realize that my frustrations are insignificant.

Today is December 1st and the sun has been shining all day. I love the new beginning that the first of the month represents. The bad weather is (hopefully) behind us and we can resume our plans. We were up at sunrise this morning to catch a bus, a ferry, another bus, and a little motor boat to make it to itty bitty Apo Island. The island only has electricity from 6-9pm, 5 guest houses, and 1 restaurant. I was so happy when we finally got on the little motor boat to get here. It felt amazing to be on a boat and not a bus, on the ocean instead of the road. 

We grabbed snorkels as soon as we arrived this afternoon and got into the water. We were all itching to be in the ocean after a week of being stuck inside. It felt like a rebirth being able to swim around in the salt water again, exploring coral reefs that line the shore. As if that wasn't enough in itself, the reefs were filled with my favorite marine animal, sea turtles! I can die happy now, having spent an hour swimming side by side with handfuls of these majestic creatures. It was one of the coolest experiences I've had and I can't wait to jump in the water with them again tomorrow. Of course this was our sole purpose for coming to Apo Island so it wasn't any sort of surprise but still when you actually see them you can't help but squeal. They are so tranquil and elegant, not giving a second of attention to the strangers following them around. 

All it took was one blissful moment in the ocean, swimming side by side with a giant sea turtle, and this entire week has been completely worth it. 

**December 2nd: Having no electricity last night and therefore no fan for sleeping was absolute torture. I don't know how people sleep in those conditions every night and I know I'm being a diva but it was so miserable. But the misery was worth it because this morning, after we hiked up to a lighthouse, we spent a solid hour swimming with sea turtles. We were all trying to come up with a way to describe them and were at a loss for words. All we could say is that they are just so freaking COOL! Once we were over swimming we got on another tiny wooden motor boat and started the 2 hour ride to Siquijor. I can already tell I'm going to love this little island. It's much cleaner and seems to have more development and civilization than some other ones we've been to. The sunset we saw this evening was a beautiful swirl of pink and purple and the water was perfectly still and peaceful. Tomorrow we'll rent motorbikes and explore the island. I've only got one full day here before I head to Bohol to meet a friend from home who is coming to travel with me for the next month. It's going to be so nice to see a familiar face and have someone to spend the holidays with. To say that I'm excited would be an understatement, I can not wait to see her!

Thanksgiving Reflections

Being away during the holidays is always hard. I remember when I was studying abroad in Rome during Thanksgiving and it was such a depressing day. It was raining and dreary and for the first time in those 3 months I really felt lonely. How ironic is it that my second Thanksgiving away from home, this time in the beautiful oasis that is the Philippines, it's also raining? Typhooning actually. So instead of sunbathing and visiting stunning waterfalls and not caring at all about what's going on at home; here I am sitting in a cute little beach cafe, listening to the rain and longing to be at home surrounded by all of my friends and family. But immediately after writing that, I realize how lucky I am to feel this way. How blessed am I that I have such amazing people in my life? In fact I have too many blessings to even count. Traveling has opened my eyes to how truly lucky I am. Living in America, or any other first world country, makes it easy to turn a blind eye on the hardships faced by half the world. We get so caught up in our privileged lives that we never realize how privileged we actually are. Having a roof that doesn't leak, a home with more than one room, hot water to bathe, clean water to drink, healthy food to eat, clean clothing, a bed to sleep on, a car to drive, and an income to maintain these things are all luxuries that we take for granted.

 I am grateful for this eye opening journey, for this opportunity to see the world, to follow my dreams, and to truly live. I wake each day with a grateful heart and I'm learning to see the beauty in every situation. 

There is beauty in every situation. 

I'm not sure if I will ever understand how or why I was dealt such a good hand in life when others who seem more deserving were not, but I will continually be thankful. Not just today, but every single day. 

Wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to all. May your hearts and bellies be extra full today. 

Xoxo Molly